Thursday, November 19, 2015

अरे ओ कंपनी के गुलाम

काम-काम में क्या पगला रखा है तू पगले,
एक साल और बड़ा हो जाएगा तू साल अगले,

क्या पता तुझे जीवन तेरा है कितने साल का,
कल ही मर गया तो क्या घंटा खरीदेगा अपने माल का?

जो बीत गया वह बेकार, जो आने वाला वह किस्मत,
जो आज है वह तेरा - फिर क्यों नहीं तुझे फुर्सत?

बुढापे की तरफ बढ़ रहे धीरे धीरे तेरे कदम,
अभी खा ले मस्तबाद में  हो कुछ हजम,

घूम  कही, देख नए नए लोग,
नये नये भोजन का लगा तू भोग,

बाहर निकल, ज़रा फिल्म विल्म देखबीवी को भी दिखा,
जो तूने आखरी फिल्म देखी थीज़रूर होगी उसमे रेखा,

"छुट्टी बिल्कुल नहीं मिलेगी", अब यह भौकना मत,
"छुट्टी तो तेरा बाप भी देगा", सोचके तू बन जा जट्ट, 

चूस लेगी तुझको कंपनी, बनाके तुझको आम,
ज़िन्दगी हो जाएगी झंड, कराएगी इतना काम,

सालो साल बीतेंगे, सैलरी भी नहीं बढ़ाएगी ज़्यादा,
एक नंबर की कमीनी है कंपनी, मान मर्यादा,

आज से तू बस अपनी ख़ुशी का सोच,
छुट्टी ले ले कल, बोल पैर में गई मोच,

और मटरगश्ती कर दिन भर, फैमिली समेत,
गलती से भी करियो फेसबुक पे अपडेट!

वैसे,  काम कर! तू सांस रोक 40-50 सेकंड के लिए! यह जो एहसास है, वह मौत का एहसास है! कुछ नहीं कर सकता तू इस समय!

और अब एक गहरी सांस ले… यह जो एहसास है यह जीवित होने का है… सब कुछ कर सकता है तू इस समय। तो सब कुछ कर!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Will It Ever Stop?


There’s just no stopping,
To my wife’s shopping,

Week after week, mall after mall,
Store after store, stall after stall,

Existing, fresh, or in sale,
You can’t stop this female,

DT, Ambience, TGIP… or Select City Walk,
Be it a market, a nagar… or simply a chowk,

Vero Moda, Only, Kazo, Marks & Spencer,
Bhagwaan ke liye, please ab toh bas kar!!!

“When will this stop”, I ask my room’s wall,
Suddenly I hear, “Honey, let’s go to the mall”

We enter the store, and she smells the outlet,
She picks a top and matches it with a bracelet,

“Kaisa lag raha hai, batao?” she will look at me,
While I try hard to figure…what I need to see,

“Ok-Ok”, I say this useless thing,
She removes the bracelet and tries a ring,

And then a pendant, and then an earring,
And then a blah blah, and then something,


One fine day, when I thought it was enough,
I mustered the courage to do something tough,

I said, “No need to shop like this, you crazy woman”
“Don’t behave like a maniac, behave like a human”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about money,”
“But it’s the time to stop all this… honey,”

She shouted “OK”, and then came near,
And said, “You don’t get to drink any beer,”

“And forget about playing cricket, that’s all history,”
“Why can’t you play, tell your friends… it’s mystery,”

“You’ll come home from office, sharp at four”
“Not a minute less and not even a minute more”

 “No more chicken-mutton, no more prawn-fish”
“Pure vegetarian food--that should be your only wish”

“Forget all your friends, they’re all bad company”
“Spend all your time at home, with family and me”


I exit the room with my phone, pretending there’s a call,
I come back in a minute, and say, “Honey, let’s go to the mall”.


 While driving, I feel bad. I was so wrong in asking her to stop! So, I say:

“Darling, these little arguments add to our life... the color,”
“Don’t you think without them it’s going to be so much duller?”

…and she’s happy! And I’m happy.

While I continue driving, thinking how I've made the amends,
And how close I’d come to losing my cricket, beer, and friends.


This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 42; the forty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-TonThe theme for the month was "COLOR"

Got 3 votes for this post. The winner got 8 :)

Sunday, January 6, 2013


 Hi! My name’s Sammy (Samarth), and this is my story.

I was 12 years old. As innocent as they come.

It was summer vacations, and as expected, I was loving it. In the middle of the vacations, my mom told me that bua and phoopha (dad’s sister and her husband) will be visiting us. That was extremely exciting news for me. Well, because they always brought gifts.

So, soon enough, they reached us after an overnight train journey from Bhopal, their residence town. I hid all my excitement and behaved quite normally on seeing them. I touched their feet and quietly stood in the corner. However, in half an hour, I started getting impatient. They kept conversing with my parents and just would not unpack. At this end, I was getting extremely desperate for them to unpack and hand me my gift.

Finally, an hour later, they went to their room. And in five minutes, I followed them. I meant to make my appearance look like an accident. And it worked. Bua saw me and told me that she’s brought something for me. Hell, I knew that already. All I managed to say was, “okay”. Then, she handed me a green colored wristwatch. I fell in love with my wristwatch. The body of the watch was made of thick rubber, and the green was the army green. The watch looked solid and I was sure it would not break even if I dropped it. Great!

At night, the sleeping arrangements were such that Phoopha (I will call him uncle from here on) was to sleep in my room with me and my brother (who was 3 years younger to me). I don’t really remember why such arrangements were made. Especially when I clearly remember the aunt and the uncle had a separate room to themselves.

Anyways, I took the center; my brother was on my right, and the uncle on the left. We did a little chitchat and went off pretty soon. I remember last seeing the time as 12:43 in my new green watch. The watch slept next to my pillow.

Then! In the middle of the night, I was suddenly awoken by the uncle. I had my back toward him, and he’d grabbed my left hand. Then, he took the hand and made me hold something.

I can remember pretty well how the ‘thing’ felt. It was soft like a mouse and a little thick in size. I thought about it but could not identify what it was. It did not seem like anything I’d held before. The uncle did not know I was awake, and I kept acting asleep. He kept holding my hand and continued to make me feel that thing. I was a bit scared. But, honestly, I had no idea what was happening. It was a strange night.

<<Some years later >>

As I grew up, I continued to remember the happenings of that strange night. I never shared it with anyone. It was my personal secret. All that time, I did not even know if it was worthy of being a secret.

Anyways… I don’t remember how old I was, but one day it hit me! It hit me real hard. I suddenly realized what the uncle was up to. He had sexually molested me and made me hold on to his… you know! He molested a child is what I could mutter. I felt really odd. I am unable to explain the exact feeling, but I felt really sick. Yes, sick is the word. And from the day the realization came, there have been voices in my ears. My own voices probably. It’s like my world started echoing with some questions.

Did he do that to my brother as well? Did he do it to me again? What to do now? Do I tell this to anyone?

Did I enjoy it? What if I did? What if I felt bad for myself only because someone in my position is supposed to? What if I am going crazy?

 I felt sorry for myself. My mind was screwed.

<<Some more years later>>

The same uncle and aunt shifted to Delhi. They found a home in our society; my father helped them find one. I had lost all emotions for them by then, so, I hardly cared.

I grew up. But the memories of that night and those stupid questions remained with me.

I had started seeing a girl and did not open it up to her as well. I thought there’s no point. Deep down inside, I felt sick. Very sick.

A few years passed by, and this uncle got hospitalized. He had some major issue that I had no clue about. I still don’t know actually. I did not even bother asking anyone. However, I did get to know that he was being discharged the other day. My dad had asked me to drive to their place to see him. I hesitated initially but then went with him.

We reached their house, and it was total chaos. Seems like the uncle had fainted the moment he reached home. And everyone was in panic not knowing what to do. They decided to rush him back to the hospital. I had been a pretty good driver, so, they carried him to my car and asked me to drive. And I drove him back to the hospital. On the way, I clearly remember thinking of that night. But I drove real fast and the thoughts vanished soon.

At the hospital, he was declared ‘brought dead’. Yes, he was dead.

I walked away from the room the doctor made that announcement. I was not happy, not sad. I was indifferent.

Anyways, suddenly, surprisingly, after his death, the world was silent again. There were no voices anymore. No more questions that I needed to answer. Was this the end to my misery? It was a weird feeling. I would not have wanted him to die for this to happen, but that’s the way it did. In some corner of my mind, I felt a little relieved.

<< @^$&@%##*(!#>>

However, it was all too temporary.

Soon enough, all the thoughts came back to me. Just like old times. My mind kept bringing up the night and the ‘thing’ back to me, pretty well, yet again.

And all that had changed was that a new question got added to the list. Did god specifically want him to die in front of me?

The thought stays with me till date.

And everything haunts me till date. Why can’t I forget all of it?

Why can I still feel the texture of the ‘thing’ the moment I clench my fist? 

This post was written by me as part of 35th Blog-a-Ton. I got no votes for this one as well. :) This was one of the rare occasions I tried to write something serious. I think I am better off writing humor stories.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Pizza Toppings

The Kukkur family was a middle-class one. There were three members, Samrat Kukkur, his wife Sattori Kukkur, and their son Sukkul.

Samrat owned an export business and was doing pretty well for himself and his family. It could be said that success was starting to get into his head.

Anyways, Sattori had been at Samrat’s case of late. She wanted a house servant. She said she was tired of all the chores and would like a servant at her command, especially now that they could afford one.

Soon, the Kukkurs hired an 11-year old boy. Not bothering about the original name of the boy, they named him Gadhesh.

Gadhesh, of course, belonged to a poor family. He had come from a village in Rajasthan and had moved to Delhi when he was 10-years old.

Anyways, the Kukkurs did not treat him well. Sattori kept Gadhesh busy throughout the day with the household tasks while she stayed glued to the television.

At the same time, Samrat would come home in the evening and scold Gadhesh for no rhyme or reason. 


One day, the Kukkurs ordered pizza. They had tried pizza just recently and had taken an instant liking to it.

As their usual routine went, they sat on the dinner table and started eating from the boxes, while Gadhesh watched from the corner.

Samrat asked if Gadhesh wanted a slice, and that brought a big smile on the servant’s face. However, Samrat removed all the toppings from Gadhesh’s slice before handing it over. He put all the toppings on his wife’s share.

Gadhesh felt bad. But he did not think much and enjoyed his share. 

After a week, the Kukkurs ordered pizza again. The same old routine followed. They sat and started feasting, and Gadhesh watched, this time in anticipation.

The servant’s stares annoyed Samrat.

He took a slice and removed all the topping. Next, he removed most of the cheese. Then, he handed it over to Gadhesh.

This annoyed Gadhesh. He said he wanted the toppings, which angered Samrat big time.

Samrat, in a fit of anger, spat on the slice and then offered it to Gadhesh. “Here’s your topping, you uneducated fool”, he said.

Gadhesh started crying. He probably continued the entire night… and ran away from the house the very next morning.

Gadhesh found another job soon, this time a much better family.

He worked pretty hard for the next 10 years. He worked in houses and did a bit of repair jobs as well.

In the process, he even picked a little English and started earning decently to keep himself going. Most importantly, he learned from his friend how to ride a bike. It was important for him.

Truth is, while working hard all these years, Gadhesh always had an aim. An ambition!

His friend had once casually asked him about it. And all Gadhesh said was, “I want to become a pizza delivery boy”. His friend could not control the laughter. He said, “are you mad?

Of course, I am insane”, said Gadhesh. And he laughed too. 

A few months later, when he thought the time was right, Gadhesh went to a specific pizza parlor and applied for the job of a delivery boy. As he’d expected with his skills, he got it!

He knew his time would come soon. All he had to do now was to wait.

And soon enough, he got the opportunity. He was handed a couple of boxes to be delivered to a house, a few kilometers away. The bill on the boxes bore the name ‘Samrat Kukkur’. 


Ting Tong

Sir, your pizza”.

Thanks, how much?

Seven-Hundred Twenty-Four

Here you go… keep the change 

Soon, the family finished all the boxes. They loved it!


Little did they realize that all the toppings had been polished with chunks of saliva.
This post was written by me as part of 34th Blog-a-Ton. It fetched me no votes. Rightly. And as expected. :)

Friday, November 9, 2012

Microsoft Mouse

I recently acquired a cool Microsoft Mouse.

I say acquired because my office paid for it. It's a nice wireless mouse that works on rough surfaces as well.

And this post is not promoting the mouse device. Instead, I want to divert your attention to the 'Hindi' translation for the user instructions printed on the pack. Take a look:

Well, well well! Kya chakkar hai bhai?

Do the instructions take your mind elsewhere?

Sunday, November 4, 2012


It’s was my friend’s birthday, two days ago,
He invited me to the party, how could I say no?
Free beer, free food, free everything, ho ho ho,
“I would drink and drink, non-stop till I throw”

It was a happening pub, the time was eight,
I got ready in time; I didn't want to be late,
How could I make, the ‘free’ stuff wait?
So I entered, and headed to the table straight,

I said my hi hellos quickly, and looked at the menu,
“Vodka shots for me; and some fish fingers too,”
And my same old journey began, but it looked so new,
The only breaks in journey, were the visits to the loo,

After a few rounds of vodka, then came the beer,
I cared only for my glass, not for the people near,
And so I kept sinking low in my high, nothing to fear,
Nor did I care for the car, which I was supposed to steer,

I was getting disoriented, but I did not stop,
When everything’s free, who wants to drop?
And I continued my way, mutton chop after chop,
With my beer mug getting filled, top after top,

Pretty soon I lost my senses, all of them I guess,
I was not a human any more, just a stupid mess,
I wanted to care more, but I couldn't care less,
Instead of a friend to my friends, I became a stress,

They dropped me home, god knows how,
As I kept puking everywhere, like shit I feel now,
My stomach’s been crappy; it’s the time to take the vow,
“Oh god! Please forgive me, in front of you I bow”

Never again, never again… never never again,
Neither free, nor paid, not even in bargain,
Will not abuse my body, will not subject it to pain,
And if I ever do it again, I deserve to be in a drain!

But… I think sometimes I would want to make an exception,
Maybe at a friend’s marriage… or even the reception?

This post was written by me as a part of Blog-a-Ton. It fetched me 3 votes :) 

Sunday, October 7, 2012

An Untold Story

Long, long ago, in an obscure village in central India, there used to be a man named Haiyya Joos. He was a poor farmer, probably the poorest in the village. In a time where his fellow villagers boasted of multiple cows and buffaloes, Haiyya owned just a goat.

To add to his woes, the goat did not even give milk properly. Moreover, the money spent on feeding the goat was quite high. In total, life was not good for Haiyya!

Being a single parent, Haiyya’s only glimmer of happiness was supposed to be his son Kan. We say ‘supposed’ because Kan never could relate with his parent’s poverty. Instead, Kan always longed for toys and other forms of amusement. Which, obviously, Haiyya could not afford.

One day, a fourteen-year-old Kan asked his father to buy a car. Haiyya was amazed at how stupid his son was. They had been in a persistent state of poorness. They always struggled to get the required number of meals a day. And here, his son Kan wanted him to buy a car.

At first, Haiyya thought that his son might be joking. However, Kan repeated the talk about buying a car the next day. And then Haiyya thought Kan had totally lost it. Probably, Kan had always been a retard and just that Haiyya did not notice. Haiyya explained to Kan that they did not have that kind of money and Kan should make do with whatever his dad gave him. Kan was disappointed.

Days passed by and the usual routine followed in Haiyya’s house. Haiyya worked very hard every day to earn just enough to provide himself, his goat, and his son some food. He always had the regret that he was never able to get Kan to go to school. Kan’s days were usually spent playing around the house. And even spending his daily allowance on something or the other. Kan would never save any money.

One day. Kan returned home from his play and ran straight to Haiyya. And the next thing he said made his dad’s jaws drop big time. Kan asked his father for money to buy a house. This was becoming extremely crazy now. Haiyya said “sure”. He took Kan inside and asked him to fetch a stick.

Then, what followed was brutal assault that one would never wish for anyone. Haiyya hit Kan real bad. Then, Haiyya made him make a promise. Kan, almost dizzy and shit scared, agreed. The promise was that Kan would never spend money until really required. Moreover, Kan was to try and save money in whatever form possible. And this way, Haiyya thought Kan would be better prepared for life.

Years passed! The same village now boasted of residing the biggest miser of all times. It looks like Haiyya’s beating took a real effect. Kan would just not spend! He helped his dad with his work, earned little, and saved. But Kan did not spend. There would be days when Kan skipped meals just to save some food. He had become a maniac.

In the village, whenever someone behaved in a stingy manner, people referred to him or her as Kan. Such was Kan’s fame.

One fine day, Kan fell ill. He ran a very high fever. Very, very high. He told his dad he would not be able to help him that day. Haiyya wished him well and left for work.

Kan needed a medicine badly, but he decided to save it. He just lay in his bed the whole day. Also, he ruled out visiting a doctor completely. At least, not until he had some more complaints such as cold, headache etc. That way, he could get treated for multiple things with just one fee to the doctor.

Such was his desire to save… rather, NOT spend.

And this is the untold story about how the word “Kan-Joos” came into being.

This post was written by me as a part of Blog-a-Ton. I felt the idea behind the post was very good, but the execution was very poor. The ending was quite abrupt and the idea got wasted. Excuse: did not get time to write. Ha :) The post fetched me two votes, two more than I expected :) 

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Strangers in the Night

We both were happy, and the time was right,
So we decided to marry, we were confident quite,
Our parents met, and they gelled alright,
They fixed the date and sealed our plight,

The month was Feb, and the sky was bright,
The arrangements were nice, a pretty sight,
She looked amazing, a walking dynamite,
And I was nervous, looking back in hindsight,

I brought her home, and we started just right,
But soon… things became bad, and tantrums became trite,
Words turned bitter, and little quarrels began to bite,
Looking back at the things now, I turn contrite,

We were falling apart; no longer did we remain tight,
Everything was misunderstood, prejudiced without insight,
The rudeness to each other grew to a great height,
It looked like the marriage was getting into a twilight,

Four years later…

Four years have passed, for each other we still hold spite,
But we’ve a child now, so we can’t afford things uptight,
So, for him, we pretend like a couple in broad daylight,
But when we sleep, we are two strangers in the night.

This post had been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 31; the thirty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. The theme for the month was 'Strangers in the Night'. The post fetched me just 2 votes (poor performance) :) 
To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Fraud रजनी

रजनीकान्त गए अमिताभ के घर,
और उनसे बोले 'oye बच्चन sir'

Media में बन गया है यह राज़ गहरा,
कैसा होगा तेरी पोती का चेहरा,

कैसी दिखती है वो, ज़रा मुझे तो दिखा,
क्या खिला के पाल रहे हो, ज़रा मुझे तो सिखा

ऐश्वर्या को बोल घर आये है रजनी अंकल,
रसोई में जा और थोड़े पकोड़े तो तल,

और तू ले आ बच्ची को मेरे पास,
ज़रा में भी सुनूँ उसकी गू-गू बकवास,

(अमिताभ बच्ची लाते है)

यार अमिताभ यह तो है बहुत प्यारी,
खूबसूरती है इसमे दुनिया की सारी,

यह ले कैमरा, और खींच हमारी pic,
और अच्छी खींचना, and be quick,

टाटा बाय बाय, अब चलता हूँ जी,
बच्ची का ध्यान रख तू बिग बी,

(चार दिन बाद)

ऐश्वर्या की बच्ची कि फोटो के निकले टीवी पे views
रजनीकान्त के न्यूज़ चैनल की है breaking news!!

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