Friday, July 31, 2009

The Proverbial Quiz

Hello namaste. It is finally time! Time to check how proverbial you are. I throw a quiz at you today. It is a picture quiz. There are 12 pics in this post. These aren't lovely pics as such... but just a hand-drawn assemblage. Each of them is the literal representation of a proverb (English). You need to find out which proverb.
oo
The difficulty level (which obviously gets increased because of my naivety in MSPAINT) for each pic ranges from 1-5... 5 is is the toughest and 1 is the easiest. Let's start.
kk
1. Level 1



2. Level 1



3. Level 2



4. Level 4



5. Level 5 (actually the toughest in here)



6. Level 4



7. Level 5
oo


8. Level 1


oo
9. Level 2



10. Level 4



11. Level 2



12. Level 2


oo

So... How did you do? Please forgive the poor quality pics.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Screwed Mathematically

I hadn't done anything that qualified me for a 20 kg hike in two years. I did not know what happened. People met me and instead of asking me how I was... they asked how I had become what I was. Life sucked. I had to find answers. How did I reach 100 kgs from 80 kgs?

Somewhere in my heart, I knew I had been wronged. Some germs of obesity had missed their target. But, why me?

Then, it struck me that I could utilize that one wish I had been given by god. PS: I had been nice enough to few people so god granted me a raincheck on one wish.

I said, 'God, this is my wish - I want to know how in the hell did I gain so much?'

The god said (in a godly voice of course), 'I can prove it mathematically and pictorially'. I knew there was nothing that could be proved. I still said, 'do it'.

This is exactly what god showed me:


+

+

+

+


over and over and over and over and over again... is always equal to:


God said, 'that was simple; wasn't it?'. He also gave me this pic to put on my blog:



Now I'm thinking, what a fool have I made of myself! Instead of asking god to explain me all this, why couldn't I simply ask for an automatic reduction of those 20 kgs?
KK
Damn! I concentrated only on cribbing... and forgot the situation could easily be resolved.

Monday, July 20, 2009

It Won't Take Us Anywhere

Hello angry people.

Tonight, I am going to talk about something we confront everyday - the growing aggression in us. Yes, I am talking about all of us who don't care to discuss or sort out... but prefer to get physical when our cars kiss/hit each other. Yes, I am talking about us who tell each other about their moms and sisters all the time. I am talking about the growing madness in all of us.
If you can read this, you will have a good day.
This is the year 2041. I have grown really old. Here I am... in a commercial complex... buying some groceries. I see people fighting over parking. I see the parking board and it reminds me of something... an old story.
If you can read this, you will have a good day.
You know, there used to be a house right where this complex is. The board that was on its gate in the year 2000:

... and in 2009:

... in 2015:


... in 2020:

..in 2025:

...in 2030:


Well. Unfortunately, it happened that someone did park in front of the gate in 2030. Poor guy; he and his family got killed by the house owner.
If you can read this, you will have a good day.
However, the police caught the house owner and put him behind bars. The owner was sentenced to death. His family died of depression. The house was sealed and confiscated by the Government.
If you can read this, you will have a good day.
Later, in 2040, last year, the house was demolished and this commercial complex was built. The no-parking spot suddenly became the parking spot for the complex. There is a new board:


Damn, people are still fighting... for that parking!
If you can read this, you will have a good day.
Well... I really want to warn all of us... this aggression will not take us anywhere. Let's have some patience... Let's be nice! We have already lost enough. How I wish all this stopped in and around 2009.

Friday, July 17, 2009

See Wee

A lot of times we hear about beggars who make it big just by begging. I think that industry is on a roll. I want to assume that there are people/organizations who run that industry.

Let's say one such organization is Unbathed Limited. This organization is on a hiring spree. The prospective beggars see a good opportunity here.

Now, let's take a look at the cv of one such candidate who's applied at Unbathed:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Haboo Khutri

Current Designation: Senior Beggar at Rimjhim Chowk

Objective: I am looking for a red light that cares for me, understands my strengths, and gives me opportunities to improve my legerdemain. I want to go deep into the business of red-light area.

Total Experience: 2710 day hours. 1200 night hours.

Skills: Disguising, Becoming handicapped (one arm illusion only), Contorting facial assets, Tearing clothes just at the right places, Targetting the right kind of vehicles and people.

Projects Handled: Here is a brief account of the projects:
a. Jhampu Gali: I handled the entire stretch single-handedly for almost a month. The key tasks involved targetting aunties.
b. Pesha Colony: I acted as a mindless, bodyless person for 3 months.
c. Ghoo block: I carried a dummy 1 year old baby doll and lured people into sympathy for the child.
d. Boku vihar: I sat on the sidewalk during the days and slept at the same spot at nights. That was like an SBB (Spot Booked by Beggar) junction.
e. kaiko sarai: I purely asked... no disguise visguise.
f. Ghanghorpur: I stayed quiet and asked. There was a lot of grease on my face... could not open mouth to ask.

In all the above projects, I earned approximately .95 rupees per signal. This also means that I qualify for the BAI (Beggar Acceptability Index).

Academics: Studied BCOM for graduation. I am an MBA in finance.

Hobbies: In my free time I like to rest. At work, I do my best.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What say? Will he get the jaab?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Gajjodhar's First Complaint

How cool we are.

Today, I bring to you the story of a guy, Gajodhar, who spent an hour on orkut immediately after marriage. He had to remain updated you see. People in the world would die if they didn't get to know about his marriage... his marital status.

So, what exactly did he do? Here are the chronicles of the changes that happened in that crucial hour:

a. About Me: Changed from 'I am a fun loving guy, love to be with frands... luv 2 make new frands... I am cool, and that's why I am. Wanna keep in touch, I don't care much.. ya ya, I am the cool dood with attitude'
to
'I am a simple, honest person. I love eating.'

b. Relationship Status: Changed from 'Single - waiting for the right person'
to
'Marrid'

c. Sports: Changed from 'Ah! Anything I can play. As long as I enjoy - wanna challenge me in any game? Warning: Am up for it. Dont camplain when you lose'
to
'Cricket'

d. Passions: Changed from 'Biking, gals, glares, rafting, anything that's supercool, just like mee you see'
to
'I love reading.'

e. Books: Changed from 'Chacha Chowdhury... actually I dont read much'
to
'The monk who sold something'

f. Music: Changed from 'Ooooo, i love moozic...rock n roll... hipp hoppa, jazzy... m a music maniac... give me anything and i can dance... your words are music to ma ears!'
to
'Lucky Ali and Shankar Mahadevan. They are really grate.'

g. TV Shows: Changed from 'Gimme a brake from that saasbahu crap. I love AXN action stuff'
to
'Mahabharat'

h. Cuisines: Changed from 'I have one cousin only'
to
'Chinese'

i. Career Skills: Changed from 'I am smooth talker... can sell you a sold item'
to
'Sales'

j. Ideal Match: Changed from 'Some1 who understands me - loves to be adventurus... caring...lovely... beauti! O Gawd, where are you?'
to
'Neha'

k. First Thing You Will Notice About Me: Changed from 'My attitude - cool dude. I am the lie in the truth, the white in the black... darkness in light... and am out of your sight'
to
'My smile'

l. Turn Offs: Changed from 'Tharkis.... any uncool stuff'
to
'Bad breadth'

m. My Idea of a Perfect First Date: Changed from 'A candle light, hand in hand, right at the beach... followed by wine... and a meal of swine... and after that, :)!'
to
'A movie + lunch'

n. From my Past Relationships i Learned: Changed from 'Shit happens... but thats ok - be a man and move on'
to
'No past relationship.'

o. Five Things I can Live Without: Changed from 'Gals, Bikes, Money, Mobile, Moozic'
to
'Food, water, air, family, friends'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post this, Gajjodhar greets his bride good morning.... and complains about her Orkut profile being too jazzy and college-like... inaugurating the married life!
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All the pictures and contents on Dusht-ka-Drishtikone are protected by Copyright Law and should not be reproduced, published or displayed without the explicit prior written permission from the sole author of the blog, Kshitij Khurana.