Friday, April 16, 2010

I'm Embarassed

Like in the previous post, I still don't have a new story to tell. There are three ideas in the making, and one of them should be out very soon. It almost feels like I am talking about the release of my next film. Anyways...

So, for this time, I am going to continue with the 'personal' label. I feel like talking about some of my most embarassing moments. Although there is a huge list... I am interested in talking about four. Why's that? Because you don't have time to read many.

1. This happened a year ago. Let me give you a brief first. I am a flexible person... with multiple personalities... and friends at completely different ends of the society.

I could speak hi-fi stuff with a sophisticated person... and replicate the ease in my conversations with Gujjar boys.

So... one day, one of my friends, a Gujjar boy, almost at the stroke of a new relationship (girlfriend), asked me to send some romantic hindi one liners to him on SMS.

I wrote some cheap off-the-shelf stuff and sent the message... but not to him... but to my client. HUGE MISTAKE!

The client was a female... and my message read stuff like:

"Mai pagal ho gaya hoon tumhare liye... aur tum ab tak deewani bhi na ho paai?"
"Tumhari aankhen mei khud ko mai sundar dikhta hoon... vaise badsurat"

Grrr... I am getting embarassed even while writing this. haha. I wonder what she thought of me... coz the messages didn't even look like ones I'd send my gf.

2. This is again a year ago. I was quitting my ex organization and during the farewell speech, I said some stuff that could only be misconstrued.

At a particular point, what I intended to say something like "... it does not attract me to... blah blah blah..."

The exact terms I ended up using were "... it does not arouse my thing to..."

Yuck yuck.

3. This incident is purely out of laziness. I was in class 6th or 7th. The recess usually got followed by Games period on one of the fortunate days. We had a separate uniform for games (PT), which we used to change into during recess.

I remember the class was empty... people had left for games. I was yet to change... and in total insanity... I took off my shorts right there in the classroom. I mean I was quite confident about maintaining privacy. But, as you can guess, it was not to be.

Right at the moment I dropped my shorts, two girls entered! Holy shit. I sat on my chair—put my bag on my lap—and let the shorts remain on ground—all in a second. Shit! Shit ! Shit!

The girls knew what was happening... but walked off soon... thank you R and S!

4. We (family) were going somewhere... and putting stuff in the car - a precursor to usual Punjabi family outings.

In a moment of I dont know what... Instead of saying "Isko gaadi ki dikky mei rakh do"... I said "Isko gaadi ki dick mei rakh do".

Dad was the at the other end of the conversation.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Homely Anomaly

Ever heard somone leaking out family secrets?

Today, I am going to do just that. I am going to tell you one thing about my mom, dad, bro, and grandma each—that I find weird. I choose today as the day because all four things happened today. Read on.

1. Mommy - She is somehow... how do I put it... I mean... adamant. She is adamant that all meals of the day should be eaten irrespective of whatever. So, to explain this... suppose I am not hungry enough for breakfast one day. It is at about 1 o clock that I feel the craving, and I end up eating my share of parathas from the breakfast. It all sounds good till here... parathas have been yummy. But... what next? Well, she comes back at 1:20 to offer lunch! I mean.. wait... what? I just had food... didn't I? To her - breakfast and lunch are two separate things... and can even be consumed one after the other.

2. Daddy - Ever since he bought Tata Sky Plus, he is of the opinion that every damn thing in the world can be and should be recorded. That is still acceptable... but my problem starts when he treats a TV serial and a live cricket match at par. I mean he somehow manages to assign me a task at the time a live match is keeping me busy... and coolly says, record kar lo... aake dekh lena. Well, that is really irritating. A live match is supposed to be watched live - in my view. One can record a serial and watch it later... which is what he loves doing :)

3. Brother - He is in class XII... is a little shy and practical... does not open up with people easily. Moroever, this ten-year gap between us ensures we have a bada-chota kind of relationship and not the usual bhai-bhai. He comes across as a reserved person... keeping things to himself. All is well till here. My problem starts when he starts singing the songs of advertisements... when they are on air. I mean.. these are not funky punky songs... no foot-tapping numbers... but simple gharelu rhyming songs... I have never ever heard him sing any movie song... but he goes whole heartedly for the advertisement songs. I think you might not find this very weird... but considering the kind of person he is, it is weird for him to sing in open... and that too, those lousy mini songs.

4. Grandma - She is 80+ and amazingly active. That is perfect. The issue I have is this habit of hers of shaking hands. She does it only to me... I mean whenever I go and hi hello to her... she likes to shake hands. It's not terribly weird... but somewhat weird :)

That's the immediate family... and they're great!

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