Friday, August 7, 2009

Reporting Earthly Matters

Meet Mr. Dadam.


Mr. Dadam's address is - 11th Paradise Bungalow, Angels and Laymens, Opposite Godly Park, Heaven. Absolutely! Mr Dadam resides in heaven.
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You know, every year, god sends some people (fully grown-ups) to earth to perform specific tasks. Dadda, as I would call him here on, was one of the privileged people to have been sent by god to earth this year. Objective of his mission, do good to earthly creatures. A lottery system placed Dadda on a mission to New Delhi, India, Earth.
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He spent three months on the mission, came back, and submitted a report to his boss. I highlight below, some part of Dadda's report.
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a. I was driving near Lajpat Nagar. There were few pedestrians who wanted to cross the road. I stopped the car for them to cross. No one did. They looked at me in disbelief. All they said, "Maarega yeh humko zaroor. Hum chalenge aur yeh gaadi chala dega".
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b. I was standing in a long queue for buying movie tickets. There was a girl behind me. I thought of being nice and asked her to take my place. She got really angry. She stood her ground and said, "So that you stare at my ass? Huh? You pervert".
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c. I made friends with a guy named Pajju. It was his birthday three days later. I called him and wished happy birthday. He wasn't expecting my call. He said, "Yaar, treat shaam ko le liyo please".
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d. A motorcyclist met with an accident. He fell down. I went to pick him up. He looked at me walking towards him. He first checked where his wallet was, and then said, "Aah. Lag gayi".
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e. A car had broken down. I went to help the couple who owned it. The guy looked at me, asked his wife to go back in, and said, "No thanks. Don't need your help".
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f. I bought McDonalds' burgers for slum kids. The kids looked really excited about their to-be feast. Suddenly, a guy, an equal slum dweller, came and shouted at them. He asked them not to eat. He said, "Pata nahi kya milaya hoga isne".
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g. I saw kids begging at the red light. I thought education might change their fate. I taught them English. The police caught me. The charges that were pressed, "Bachcho ko English sikha ke bheekh mangwata hai".
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h. I got out of the jail, somehow. An hour after my exit, I saw a little girl fall down on the road. I picked her, held her by the hand, but then someone shouted. Her parents, they screamed, "Hamari bachchi ko bachao kidnapper se". The police caught me and put me back in. Swoooooosh... I transmitted back to heaven immediately.
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God, my boss, how can I help these people? How can I be nice? They have forgotten about being good. Nothing happened as I expected... except for one thing. There was only one thing that went right. Just one!
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It was a moment when I was feeding some cows. An hour later, a news was flashed on the channels Baaj Tak and Dandiya TV. They said, "Bhagwaan ne bhookhi cows ka pate bharne ke liye apne saathi ko bheja". That was the only time when people interpreted my deed correctly. Sob sob.
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14 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Very nice..especially the last part about baaj tak and dandiya tv..he he..too gud :)

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  3. Thank you thank you, far too kind :)

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  4. Too, too good! Am still laughing over it. :-))

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  5. Awesome post man!!!
    Funny!
    After a long time, had a laaf on smthing which was not non-veg!!

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  6. Your blog is very nice. The images are very beautiful. God is Great. Best wishes.

    http://www.thedynamicnature.com

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  7. Maddy & Jamu - Thank you. You are the only two regulars here. It's a given that I post for you.

    Azad - Thank you man. Really appreciate that coming from a fellow stranger:) Keep coming.

    Mahmood - Thank you. Keep coming man.

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  8. Wonderful post. I coud not stop laughing, but then waited for a moment to let the reality sink in.

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  9. I'm glad you caught hold of the reality bit as well... That was more important than the humor.

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  10. Awesome...!! People have truly lost faith in GOOD-ism...

    Apt is...

    Limited Humility (only as much as we can afford)

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  11. Most of your posts make me laugh out loud. This one made me smile :)

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  12. it reminds of this play called good woman of szchwan by brecht!

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  13. PS- in this play gods come on earth, and have similar experiences, like the ones mentioned above!

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  14. dude simply amazing ......reality creeps in the moment humour grips u!!! lols nice one

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