Friday, July 17, 2009

See Wee

A lot of times we hear about beggars who make it big just by begging. I think that industry is on a roll. I want to assume that there are people/organizations who run that industry.

Let's say one such organization is Unbathed Limited. This organization is on a hiring spree. The prospective beggars see a good opportunity here.

Now, let's take a look at the cv of one such candidate who's applied at Unbathed:
Name: Haboo Khutri

Current Designation: Senior Beggar at Rimjhim Chowk

Objective: I am looking for a red light that cares for me, understands my strengths, and gives me opportunities to improve my legerdemain. I want to go deep into the business of red-light area.

Total Experience: 2710 day hours. 1200 night hours.

Skills: Disguising, Becoming handicapped (one arm illusion only), Contorting facial assets, Tearing clothes just at the right places, Targetting the right kind of vehicles and people.

Projects Handled: Here is a brief account of the projects:
a. Jhampu Gali: I handled the entire stretch single-handedly for almost a month. The key tasks involved targetting aunties.
b. Pesha Colony: I acted as a mindless, bodyless person for 3 months.
c. Ghoo block: I carried a dummy 1 year old baby doll and lured people into sympathy for the child.
d. Boku vihar: I sat on the sidewalk during the days and slept at the same spot at nights. That was like an SBB (Spot Booked by Beggar) junction.
e. kaiko sarai: I purely asked... no disguise visguise.
f. Ghanghorpur: I stayed quiet and asked. There was a lot of grease on my face... could not open mouth to ask.

In all the above projects, I earned approximately .95 rupees per signal. This also means that I qualify for the BAI (Beggar Acceptability Index).

Academics: Studied BCOM for graduation. I am an MBA in finance.

Hobbies: In my free time I like to rest. At work, I do my best.
What say? Will he get the jaab?


  1. Well...the See Wee looks pretty impressive..i think he should get a job...he'll prove to be a good resource (but an expensive one i suppose) for Unbathed Limited it seems..

    But i must say..this writing piece is excellent and the kind of description you have given in projects handled is very creative..nice!

  2. Delightful! If our man was a woman, he could also have specialised in the `I'm pregnant and about to give birth, so need money' tack. A friend of mine encountered the same beggar using this bahaana at a traffic crossing between morning and afternoon. A gang of women, actually, one sitting and holding her stomach while screeching, the others approaching passing cars. Creative!

  3. Make that two. Two friends of yours have encountered the almost-in-labor-but-still-in-traffic women. I got them at the Lajpat Nagar red light coming from Amar Colony. It was scary initially... but it just didnt give me the right vibes.

  4. Imagine I am the hirer in Unbathed Limited. I am still not impressed with Mr. Khutri's CV. I want to see more CVs. He should not have divulged his MBA in finance status. He is efficient enough to cheat me with my profit.

    I am sure there are others in the market who will do better. Just that they are not interested in begging now, and is busy with riots and terrorism.

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