Friday, July 17, 2009

See Wee

A lot of times we hear about beggars who make it big just by begging. I think that industry is on a roll. I want to assume that there are people/organizations who run that industry.

Let's say one such organization is Unbathed Limited. This organization is on a hiring spree. The prospective beggars see a good opportunity here.

Now, let's take a look at the cv of one such candidate who's applied at Unbathed:
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Name: Haboo Khutri

Current Designation: Senior Beggar at Rimjhim Chowk

Objective: I am looking for a red light that cares for me, understands my strengths, and gives me opportunities to improve my legerdemain. I want to go deep into the business of red-light area.

Total Experience: 2710 day hours. 1200 night hours.

Skills: Disguising, Becoming handicapped (one arm illusion only), Contorting facial assets, Tearing clothes just at the right places, Targetting the right kind of vehicles and people.

Projects Handled: Here is a brief account of the projects:
a. Jhampu Gali: I handled the entire stretch single-handedly for almost a month. The key tasks involved targetting aunties.
b. Pesha Colony: I acted as a mindless, bodyless person for 3 months.
c. Ghoo block: I carried a dummy 1 year old baby doll and lured people into sympathy for the child.
d. Boku vihar: I sat on the sidewalk during the days and slept at the same spot at nights. That was like an SBB (Spot Booked by Beggar) junction.
e. kaiko sarai: I purely asked... no disguise visguise.
f. Ghanghorpur: I stayed quiet and asked. There was a lot of grease on my face... could not open mouth to ask.

In all the above projects, I earned approximately .95 rupees per signal. This also means that I qualify for the BAI (Beggar Acceptability Index).

Academics: Studied BCOM for graduation. I am an MBA in finance.

Hobbies: In my free time I like to rest. At work, I do my best.
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What say? Will he get the jaab?

5 comments:

  1. Well...the See Wee looks pretty impressive..i think he should get a job...he'll prove to be a good resource (but an expensive one i suppose) for Unbathed Limited it seems..

    But i must say..this writing piece is excellent and the kind of description you have given in projects handled is very creative..nice!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Delightful! If our man was a woman, he could also have specialised in the `I'm pregnant and about to give birth, so need money' tack. A friend of mine encountered the same beggar using this bahaana at a traffic crossing between morning and afternoon. A gang of women, actually, one sitting and holding her stomach while screeching, the others approaching passing cars. Creative!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Make that two. Two friends of yours have encountered the almost-in-labor-but-still-in-traffic women. I got them at the Lajpat Nagar red light coming from Amar Colony. It was scary initially... but it just didnt give me the right vibes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Imagine I am the hirer in Unbathed Limited. I am still not impressed with Mr. Khutri's CV. I want to see more CVs. He should not have divulged his MBA in finance status. He is efficient enough to cheat me with my profit.

    I am sure there are others in the market who will do better. Just that they are not interested in begging now, and is busy with riots and terrorism.

    ReplyDelete

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