09 October, 2009

Unlimited Dosti

How many stories have you heard on friendship? Lots?

The one that I am narrating today has never been heard before... it's never been told before... it might have been witnessed by the people of Sheecha village. But, they did not disclose it to anyone except me.

This is the story of two friends—Haggu and Guggu (original names - Haggarjeet and Gughneetham).

They watched Sholay 39 times... together! Isn't that enough to speak of their friendship?
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The Usual Scene:

... yehhhh dostiiiii, hum nahiiiii chhhodenge....

chhhhoddengeee... hummmm magarrrr....

teraaa.... laaaaaaaa.... lalalalaaaaaa..... lalalalalalala....

As seen here, Haggu is driving and Guggu is singing. As a part of their daily routine, Haggu joins Guggu in the lalalalala bit of the song.

They both wear similar clothes and always predecide the color combination over the phone.
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One Day:

Guggu's hands were on Haggu's waist. They were riding... singing... enjoying ...all usual stuff!

Haggu: Guggu, had you not been there, this life would have been boring.

Guggu (smiles and sheds tears simultaneously): Haggu.... ummmmm... ummmmmm... (sob) (sob)... same to you Haggu (Guggu hugs him tightER).

After a lengthy discussion on 'what-ifs' and 'what-nots', the two decided to travel around the Sheecha village.

On one of the turns, the bike lost balance and the two friends had a major fall. Bhadhaaaaaaaam. While Haggu hurt himself on the knees, Guggu hit his body against a wall next to the sidewalk. The bike was damaged too.

Haggu got himself up; he was desperate to check on Guggu.

The site was horrific. Guggu was lying in a pool of blood. He seemed extremely critical... and even maybe a 'gonner'. His moans could be heard in the 20 meter radius.

Haggu: Guggu, my friend, are you ok?

Guggu: Aaaah... f...f...ff....ffreand... Hag g g g gooo... aaaah...

Haggu: O no... nahiiiiii... yeh kya ho gaya Guggu? Hey bhagwaan... Gugguuu, mai abhi ambulance ko bula kar aata hoon.

Guggu: Nahi... mere dost... iss gao mei ambulance nahi aati... aur vaise bhi mera waqt aa gaya hai. Tuu mujh chhod ke mat jaa... mujhe kahi hospital vospital nahi jana... mujhe bas apni lap mei leta de...

[Haggu did not worry about the blood stains and did as Guggu asked.]

Haggu: Mujhe chhhod ke mat jaa Guggu. Mai kya karunga iss gaon mei?

Guggu: Hag hag haggu... guu... mai khush hoon tere saamne marte hue. Khush rehna mere dost.

[Haggu is crying so bad that he's hardly able to utter a word.]

[Meanwhile, some villagers have circled these guys.]

A Villager: Arey... eee kaaah hua... chalo chalo inko hospitalva le chalte hai...

Haggu: Nahi... Koi haath nahi lagayega mere dost ko...

Guggu: Thanks mere dost. Ab mai mar sakta hoon.

Both of them have been staring at each other. No one is uttering a word. The time passes by... as both of them wait for Guggu to die. The villagers have circled... some waiting for the tragedy... some thinking of taking them to the hospital... and some, just for the fun of it.

Ten minutes have passed... both friends are still staring at each other. Haggu manages to smile... and Guggu manages to return it. Some of the villagers are starting to get impatient. One of them offers to carry Guggu to the village hospital but Haggu stares him away.

Fifteen minutes have passed... and Haggu is starting to get a little annoyed... sitting like that. His knees are paining. He still holds Guggu closer. Guggu is half asleep... but breathing. A couple of villagers started to hold Guggu' body but Haggu went mad. They had to step back.

Twenty minutes have passed... Haggu is in pain. Villagers keep expressing their desire to help... only to be shooed away by Haggu.

Twenty-five minutes have passed... Guggu is half awake.. Haggu is staring... he wants to throw Guggu away... but friendship prevails... The looks on his face suggest that he wants to say, "Ab mar naaa... Marta kyon nahi hai?"

Thirty minutes have passed... Guggu is still alive... Haggu is even more frustrated... Most of the villagers have gotten bored of this non-activity and left. Some of them have preferred to stay till the end.

Forty minutes have passed... Guggu is wide awake now... He's realized he's not dying. There are some injuries... but nothing life-threatening as such. Not knowing what to do... and how to confront Haggu who must be so sad in the heart... and even the villagers... Guggu gets up and starts walking toward home—while Haggu and the villagers stare.

Two minutes later, the villagers make a huge laughing stock of Haggu.

Embarassed to the core, Haggu gets up and walks for home. He does not know what to do. To be happy? To be sad? To be embarassed?
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Both of them... don't know how to react. They don't know how to confront each other... or even the villagers....

Still, they think of each other all the time.

23 comments:

  1. may be one day they'll just meet at a bike shop.. end up buying a new bike together... and rest will be history...

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  2. Fabulous and engaging stuff.... I could literally imagine the scene... :-)

    The Dusht of humour in top form. Keep blogging buddy... it helps me to be productive during office hours... :-)

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  3. LOL! Again, interesting names and incredible writing. Very creatively done. Kudos!

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  4. From where do you find such names like huhu and haggu and guggu ?? By the way nice read.


    Keep it up buddy.
    :)


    shilpa

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  5. lols ... reminded me of those "old death in the lap of the beloved" scenes from movies....

    They were so long n people were thinking why wouldnt he die already :P

    Amitabh n dharmendra ones were the best :D

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  6. @ Rishi - I was thinking to follow it up like this ' "Later Haggu catches infection by being in direct contact with Guggu's blood... and dies later"... lol.. what say?

    @ Sudershan - I am glad you liked it... really happy.

    @The count - Thank you thank you. I clicked your link but found nothing... aap kaun hai?

    @ Shilpa - Shilpa... meri dost... tum aa hi gayi aakhir... i am happy you found it nice. Names toh kuch bhi anap shanap socho ban hi jaate hai... i think i can generate 4 anap shanap names per minute...

    @ Swami - Exactly those scenes inspired me to imagine it this way. I just changed the ending :) Thank you for the lovely award... and the visit.

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  7. @ Sudershan - It was your last comment that inspired me to try harder. Thanks dude. I am glad the post helped you in some way.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. I agree with Shilpa. There's one job that Kshitij should never do in his lifetime (or even the next 3 lifetimes)... ...and that is he should never try naming his kids ;-)... or anybody's kids for that matter.... :-)

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  10. Hawww... you just took away a 'right' from me... Right now, I could want to name my kid:

    -Gherab
    -Geejin
    -Chacccchi
    -Kokulao
    -Byakiten

    etc etc.

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  11. I'm not a blogger, so that's why no details. Sheecha gaaon se battees kos door poorab ki or, teen dariya aur paanch pahaadiyaan paar kar ke Monte Cristo naam ka ek beehad padtaa hai (wahaan kaa daakiya ek number ka sharaabi hai, isliye mail nahi pahunchti). Main wahin par rehta hoon (iss blog ka side effect- main bhi stories banaane lagaa). Agar aap aao toh camera phone lekar aana- harr mod parr ek kissa hai :)

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  12. aids will be too much of a cliche... lets go swine flu do to accidental transfer of testosterone-related fluid as they both had carnal fetish for accidents

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  13. @ Count - Boznia huh? Is that the small term for your place?

    @ Rishi - change of pic? there was no carnal fetish here my friend. They were good friends. But, I can take it if you want it that way.

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  14. hi kshitu
    damn funny dude, superb read.

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  15. thank you harshu (if kshitu was supposed to be pally...lol)

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  16. Dee-lightful! One of the first posts I read after that brief hiatus, and it cracked me up. :-D

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  17. Hey Kshitij,

    I was bored and sleepy and badly needed an energy dose, then I remembered something I had preserved in my mailbox - links to your blogs!!

    Just visited both your blogs and the tour was completely refreshing - I am still giggling...all the funny stuff you have posted here. This is great work of 'serious humor' and keep them coming :)

    All the best!!

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  18. Hello.

    Thank you ambrish, pramathesh and nicole...good going for me seeing you commenting.

    @ Dusted - wow... look who's here! so cool to see you here.

    @Diagonal neighbour... that is such a feel gooder you left me friend. thank you so much.

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  19. LOL...would've love to be one of the Villagers, laughing at Hagguuu...

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  20. you should write a post one day on the irony that many websites dont want to take your name due to the profanity within it :D

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