Just One Peg Please

The Pee-paa-k family was a wealthy one. They owned a highly fertile land in some obscure village of Haryana. Moreover, in addition to being known for their land earnings, the family was regarded for having the most unique surname around. The only problem, if ever there was one, was the fact that they were uneducated.

It was because of this lack of education that the father accidentally named his kid 'Peg'. He had been fond of foreign names. And when this child was born, he approached one of the tourists for getting a suggestion on... an English name, maybe! The tourist, in complete apathy and inebriation, said 'Peg' and walked away. The father liked the sound... and thus, we have a Mr. Peg Pee-paa-k—the central character of this story.

Now then! Peg, unlike his father, completed his city education and with good grades. With the exception to his name, he was a decent fellow on all counts. Peg could manage a job in the city, but he chose to go back to his village. He wanted to teach. He wanted to teach the adults... so that they could make something better of their lives. Who knows... maybe Peg did not want another case of such stupidity in naming a child.

He advertised his 'classes' for a number of days. The age limit for eligibility was +35. I clearly remember it was the first day of school and three students turned up. Here's a description on the students and their first classroom words:

• Lakkad Singh (Carpenter, 36) - Waah waah... furniture kitna achcha hai class mein...
• Subjee Singh (Vegetable Seller, 40) - Class ke baad yaha maal bech lunga thoda...
• Dhishoom Singh (Wannabe Local Goon, 34) - Koi aunty nahi aayi?

Peg welcomed his students before introducing himself. Although he was disappointed by the turnout, he was kind of happy to at least make a start. He was even amused to find them sharing the same last name... 'still, much better than mine', he thought.

He began his first session with some basic sounds and pronunciations. His students fared well in their pretest... except the fact that none of them could pronounce the name of their teacher. The best, actually the worst, they could manage was a subtle... Pig Sir...

An hour that day and the school was over. 'Slow and easy to start', thought Peg. His day was okay... except for some bullies from Dhishoom and a gross manifestation of his name.

The plan for the next day was A-B-C-D. Peg educated his students about the importance of A-Z and how it formed the base of the English language. His students seemed to agree with him. Peg instructed the students to repeat after him... and expected them to memorize simultaneously. The students nodded.

Peg began...

A for Apple (Students, chorus: Aeee faaar Ayappal)...

B for Boy (Chorus: Bhee faar byee)...

C for Cat (Chorus: Seee faar Kate)...

D...

E...

F for Fish (Chorus: Effh faar Pheashhh)...

...until Peg wondered, 'do they even know what these things are?'

He asked if the students knew the items in the A-B-C-D. The students nodded in unison. Although impressed, Peg still decided to take a mini test. What is fish? Fish kya hoti hai?

Here's what the students said:

• Lakkad - Lakdi banane ki FEES...
• Subjee - oFFIS ke bahar sabji bechta hoon mai...
• Dhishoom - kele pe ladki FEESliiii...

Ahhh, said Peg. He was happy he enquired in time. 'It wouldn't work this way; they don't know anything.'

Peg thought of two options... (a), he continues the usual way, explaining the meanings on the way... or (b), he uses words that are known to his students. A minute later, Peg thought of a third option - (c), he'd explain the sound and ask them to come up with words. C, he finalized.

Peg explained how the sound system worked and gave them some examples. Next, he informed them of the assignment—he would say the alphabet along with its sound, and his students were to give him words from their personal dictionaries.

Can you guess what happened next? Well, next, we had three amazingly absurd versions of the alphabet. I say absurd, but I know they were the most relevant ones for the people in question. Take a look below. This comes to you direct from the students.

(Note: These are samples... the complete list is right at the end of the post... for reference.)

Carpenter Lakkad Singh's responses included...
A for Aari...
B for Baksa...
...
D for Dehaadi...
...
G for Gutkaa

H for Hathoda...

...

N for Namastey Ji...
O for Ozaar...
P for Paechkas...
...

Peg had to control himself big time. He could not stop laughing the first minute but was in awe of Lakkad Singh the second. It was brilliant. Lakkad had grasped the sounds so well that he actually managed to create something that can be termed as 'Alphabet for Carpenters'. Peg was very happy; he had a bright student. Next, he turned to Subjee Singh.

Veg seller Subjee Singh's responses included...

A for Aaloo...

B for Beans...

...

D for Do Kilo...

...

H for Hari Sabzee...

O for O Madame Ji...

...

Q for Qaraari Moolii

S for Sabzeeeeee Layyyyy Lowwwwww....

...

Y for Yashomati, Humree Biwiii...

...

Whoa! Subjee Singh had stunned Peg. He not only caught the correct sounds but also the perfect words... most of them. 'This is brilliant.' Peg was equally impressed with his second student. He had realized he was teaching a class of at least 2/3rd brilliant guys. To be honest, he did not expect much from the last student... but the last student's turn it was.

Wannabe goon Dhishoom Singh's responses included...

A for Aawara...

B for Bhai...

C for Chiknaa...

D for Don...

...

K for Kutte Kamine...

O for O O Jaane Jaana...

...

S for Supaari

...

X for XXX Filam...

Y for Yawn Shoshan...

...

Brilliant were all the three students. They just needed some education on the sound system... and within half an hour, the class was able to produce three new sets of the English alphabet.

It was the day learning had taken place... more in Peg than the students. He went home and reflected on the day. Something terrific had happened. Peg realized that:

• Not getting the right 'start' does not make anyone less smart... people often learn more in real life than in classes.
• Education, with relevance, is much more fun and retention oriented. People he thought to be uneducated came up with stuff he couldn't dream of. Only because they spoke of the stuff they could relate to... given the total comfort zone!
• Education is necessary for all, adults and children. After all, only an education-seeking wannabe goon would say 'H for Hey Bhagwaan and not Hathiyaar'.

That does look like the end of the story, but it isn't!

The classes went fine and the school gained mileage... and Peg did manage to teach a lot of adults. They made good use of the learning they gained from the village adult school @ Pig Sir.

Peg, just like his father, had become a notable public figure. He was loved by villagers... so much so that two of his first three pupils named at least one of their kids... in utter respect for the teacher... PEG!

------------------------------------------THE END------------------------------------------------------

Reference: Only for those interested in the complete set of alphabets produced by the students...

                                                                              Keep Learning!
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About the Post

This post was published by me as a team member of The Wordsworth Legions for the SUPER 5 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event of blog world - hosted by GingerChai.com.

The topic (category - humor) I had been assigned was 'A Humoros Post on Adult Education'.




...and this post won the 1st prize in the category mentioned above!!

:)