Monday, June 14, 2010

Just One Peg Please

The Pee-paa-k family was a wealthy one. They owned a highly fertile land in some obscure village of Haryana. Moreover, in addition to being known for their land earnings, the family was regarded for having the most unique surname around. The only problem, if ever there was one, was the fact that they were uneducated.

It was because of this lack of education that the father accidentally named his kid 'Peg'. He had been fond of foreign names. And when this child was born, he approached one of the tourists for getting a suggestion on... an English name, maybe! The tourist, in complete apathy and inebriation, said 'Peg' and walked away. The father liked the sound... and thus, we have a Mr. Peg Pee-paa-k—the central character of this story.

Now then! Peg, unlike his father, completed his city education and with good grades. With the exception to his name, he was a decent fellow on all counts. Peg could manage a job in the city, but he chose to go back to his village. He wanted to teach. He wanted to teach the adults... so that they could make something better of their lives. Who knows... maybe Peg did not want another case of such stupidity in naming a child.

He advertised his 'classes' for a number of days. The age limit for eligibility was +35. I clearly remember it was the first day of school and three students turned up. Here's a description on the students and their first classroom words:
  • Lakkad Singh (Carpenter, 36) - Waah waah... furniture kitna achcha hai class mein...
  • Subjee Singh (Vegetable Seller, 40) - Class ke baad yaha maal bech lunga thoda...
  • Dhishoom Singh (Wannabe Local Goon, 34) - Koi aunty nahi aayi?
Peg welcomed his students before introducing himself. Although he was disappointed by the turnout, he was kind of happy to at least make a start. He was even amused to find them sharing the same last name... 'still, much better than mine', he thought.

He began his first session with some basic sounds and pronunciations. His students fared well in their pretest... except the fact that none of them could pronounce the name of their teacher. The best, actually the worst, they could manage was a subtle... Pig Sir...

An hour that day and the school was over. 'Slow and easy to start', thought Peg. His day was okay... except for some bullies from Dhishoom and a gross manifestation of his name.

The plan for the next day was A-B-C-D. Peg educated his students about the importance of A-Z and how it formed the base of the English language. His students seemed to agree with him. Peg instructed the students to repeat after him... and expected them to memorize simultaneously. The students nodded.

Peg began...

A for Apple (Students, chorus: Aeee faaar Ayappal)...
B for Boy (Chorus: Bhee faar byee)...
C for Cat (Chorus: Seee faar Kate)...
D...
E...
F for Fish (Chorus: Effh faar Pheashhh)...

...until Peg wondered, 'do they even know what these things are?'

He asked if the students knew the items in the A-B-C-D. The students nodded in unison. Although impressed, Peg still decided to take a mini test. What is fish? Fish kya hoti hai?

Here's what the students said:
  • Lakkad - Lakdi banane ki FEES...
  • Subjee - oFFIS ke bahar sabji bechta hoon mai...
  • Dhishoom - kele pe ladki FEESliiii...
Ahhh, said Peg. He was happy he enquired in time. 'It wouldn't work this way; they don't know anything.'

Peg thought of two options... (a), he continues the usual way, explaining the meanings on the way... or (b), he uses words that are known to his students. A minute later, Peg thought of a third option - (c), he'd explain the sound and ask them to come up with words. C, he finalized.

Peg explained how the sound system worked and gave them some examples. Next, he informed them of the assignment—he would say the alphabet along with its sound, and his students were to give him words from their personal dictionaries.

Can you guess what happened next? Well, next, we had three amazingly absurd versions of the alphabet. I say absurd, but I know they were the most relevant ones for the people in question. Take a look below. This comes to you direct from the students.

(Note: These are samples... the complete list is right at the end of the post... for reference.)

Carpenter Lakkad Singh's responses included...
A for Aari...
B for Baksa...
...
D for Dehaadi...
...
G for Gutkaa
H for Hathoda...
...
N for Namastey Ji...
O for Ozaar...
P for Paechkas...
...
Peg had to control himself big time. He could not stop laughing the first minute but was in awe of Lakkad Singh the second. It was brilliant. Lakkad had grasped the sounds so well that he actually managed to create something that can be termed as 'Alphabet for Carpenters'. Peg was very happy; he had a bright student. Next, he turned to Subjee Singh.

Veg seller Subjee Singh's responses included...
A for Aaloo...
B for Beans...
...
D for Do Kilo...
...
H for Hari Sabzee...
O for O Madame Ji...
...
Q for Qaraari Moolii
S for Sabzeeeeee Layyyyy Lowwwwww....
...
Y for Yashomati, Humree Biwiii...
...

Whoa! Subjee Singh had stunned Peg. He not only caught the correct sounds but also the perfect words... most of them. 'This is brilliant.' Peg was equally impressed with his second student. He had realized he was teaching a class of at least 2/3rd brilliant guys. To be honest, he did not expect much from the last student... but the last student's turn it was.

Wannabe goon Dhishoom Singh's responses included...
A for Aawara...
B for Bhai...
C for Chiknaa...
D for Don...
...
K for Kutte Kamine...
O for O O Jaane Jaana...
...
S for Supaari
...
X for XXX Filam...
Y for Yawn Shoshan...
...

Brilliant were all the three students. They just needed some education on the sound system... and within half an hour, the class was able to produce three new sets of the English alphabet.

It was the day learning had taken place... more in Peg than the students. He went home and reflected on the day. Something terrific had happened. Peg realized that:
  • Not getting the right 'start' does not make anyone less smart... people often learn more in real life than in classes.
  • Education, with relevance, is much more fun and retention oriented. People he thought to be uneducated came up with stuff he couldn't dream of. Only because they spoke of the stuff they could relate to... given the total comfort zone!
  • Education is necessary for all, adults and children. After all, only an education-seeking wannabe goon would say 'H for Hey Bhagwaan and not Hathiyaar'.
That does look like the end of the story, but it isn't!

The classes went fine and the school gained mileage... and Peg did manage to teach a lot of adults. They made good use of the learning they gained from the village adult school @ Pig Sir.

Peg, just like his father, had become a notable public figure. He was loved by villagers... so much so that two of his first three pupils named at least one of their kids... in utter respect for the teacher... PEG!

------------------------------------------THE END------------------------------------------------------

Reference: Only for those interested in the complete set of alphabets produced by the students...

                                                                              Keep Learning!
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About the Post

Team This post was published by me as a team member of The Wordsworth Legions for the SUPER 5 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event of blog world - hosted by GingerChai.com.

The topic (category - humor) I had been assigned was 'A Humoros Post on Adult Education'.




GingerChai.com - Bloggers Premier League...and this post won the 1st prize in the category mentioned above!!

:)

27 comments:

  1. A very hilarious post:)
    A funny take on Adult literacy...loved it.

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  2. lol awesome... very well written buddy...

    Cheers!
    Tavish

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  3. Hilarious post, Kshitij!! :D
    And yes, it was interesting to learn some more!! :D
    All the best for the contest!!
    Cheers :)

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  4. This is perhaps one of your finest posts! 1. It is funny and humorous - the names are good as always! You get an award for Pee-Paa-K lol! You could have thought of better names for Subjee Singh and Dhishoom Singh...(in my opinion!)2. It is relevant and logical - adults would learn only in this way. 3. The 3 takeaways in the end are most relevant! By the way - what was the name of this school?? Overall - awesome post! Keep writing and all the best for the contest.

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  5. That was a wonderful, fun read. And what you say about education is relevant. Education needs to be relevant to the society/students. Even when it comes to little children, so many of them just learn up stuff, without relating to any of it, simply because what is being taught has no real relevance in their lives..

    Wonderful post!

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  6. Hey this is indeed a very hilarious post...
    Revisiting the ABCs was complete FUN..
    Gr8 job!
    ATB for BPL

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  7. Now this is an excellent post! ROFL! Quite original I must say. All the best

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  8. Hahaha... this is too hialrious. Peg? Fish? Superb post, makes u laugh all the way ;)

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  9. One of the best ones in this category. Very imaginative.

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  10. ROFL this is so hilarious. I loved the take on the subject and your blog too. will visit again to read more. great one here.. keep the good work.

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  11. Lol! That was hilarious ....Peg :) ...

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  12. Okay, your post is the last I read in this category, and you made a mark! Enjoyed your post thoroughly! All the best! :)

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  13. hahahaha! so very innovative...all the best :))

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  14. Not rolling on the floor (floor hasn't been cleaned today) but laughing nonetheless :)

    Reminded me of "cchotte 'oo' se cchotta ullu, bare 'oo' se baraa ullu :)

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  15. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

    I spent 20 minutes... and wrote customized messages for all of you. Wrote lovely things... and when I tried to post, the page expired... and my msg went away. #@#$$#$$$

    Grrrr!

    I want to thank you all... I had spent a lot of effort on this post... seems to be realizing the worth :)

    (that is a fake smiley... I dont feel like smiling.. cant believe the technology took away what I wrote.. now I will ctrl + C this before posting)

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  16. hilarious post..enjoyed reading it..good luck :)

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  17. seriously
    this one is a definite contender..
    best of luck

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  18. This Blog IPL is turning out into a funfest for readers. I'm enjoying all the posts..:) Very nice one..:)

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  19. the best thing.....putting it all in haryana.....the best of accents and the best of attitudes ........

    also the way you manipulated the alphabets and the things to call according to the person's vocation........ those are some really desi words.... especially of Dhishoom singh

    we so gonna win :D

    \,,/

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  20. Lol...that was funny!!! :D
    Par woh Dishoom Singh not eligible for class na? He's below age limit for eligibility!! Dishoom Dishoom karke ghusa kya class mein? :P
    The final list awesome...loved Dishoom ka list!! ;)

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  21. Very intelligently thought and written...some special touches like characters' names and pronunciation of words in parentheses are awesome..also the title of the post is excellent..as always :)

    Overall....u rock dude!

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  22. Absolutely delightful :-) Loved it.... hilariious and seriously thought-provoking at the same time. I think education must be customised, so it is easy for all to understand and grasp.

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  23. WOnderful post.....Nice concept.

    The ABC list is the best of all!! :D

    ======

    Offtopic- If you use firefox download "lazarus" addon so that you can recover your posts, replies or any text if you loose it!

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  24. Congratulations!! As I said you made your mark! And you won for it, you deserved it! :)

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  25. BPL waalo ne toh comment karne ke liye jagah nahi chodiya.

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  26. Hey thanks all. Very nice of you to appreciate the effort.

    @Vini - Thanks so much Vini. This got out after your and other team members' approval... so you get the credit too.

    @ Tavish - Thanks buddy. Congratulations on the individual award on the Tiger. That was a great post.

    @Shilpa - Hey... our Team Leader :) and 55F specialist. Thank you.

    @ Neo - Thanks KM. You're right the names for vegetable seller and the goon could have been better. Visphotak Singh strikes me at the moment. The name of the school, as we discussed, would be THe PEG HIGH... school... where students 'pass-out' :)

    @ Smitha - You caught it spot on. Education has to be coupled with relevance. Infact, that is one of the first things taught to us in the elearning industry...when we're writing for audience.

    @Vibhuti - Thanks Vibhuti. Hey I love that header on your blog. Very eye-catching. Is it your hand there? (hoping you come back to read this)

    @Ritu - Thanks Ritu. Your all the best worked for me :)

    @Arif - Hey thanks Arif. I like it when you laugh..hohohaha

    @Puj - Thanks Puj. Congratulations on the team victory.

    @The Fool - Hey thanks TF. I read somehwhere you are a quality commentor... maybe on Vibhuti's blog.. hmmm...hmmmm :)

    @Tikuli - You're welcome Tikuli. Keep coming on. Thanks for the appreication.. and the words you left on GC. Very nice I feel now.

    @ Dhiman - Thanks. I wanted this to be hilarious. Seems it worked.

    @ Guria - Yes! You did say the mark thing. Seems you got the eye... :0

    @ Pushpee - Thanks Pushpee. Am glad you liked it. By the way, we used to have a fast cricket bowler by the name 'Pushpee'. Man, I was scared of facing him.

    @MM - My friend. You are here. Pochaa lagwa duu infopro mei...? ek ID bhej duu? :0 THanks.

    @Neha - hey thanks Neha. I liked your account of in-laws and adult learning. Gr8 job on that.

    @RSV - ... and it won dude. I think you should join back. And we are so thankful to you for the Googlegroup. Have you been reading our stuff? :)

    @Journomouse - Hey thanks. You are right. Because of this BPL, we are getting to learn about a number of amazing writers. Long live GC.

    @Hitesh - Mere dost. You were right. We won :) Next round ka kya scene hai, yeh bhi bata do!!!

    @Sree - Now that's what I call ATD. I was wondering why noone asked. True - I made Dhishoom Singh do dhishoom dhishoom and enter the class.. despite being ineligible.. nahi ghusta toh do hi bachche reh jaate yaar. Your first visit here... welcome, friend.

    @ Jaimala - Tumhare liye end mei comment likhunga...hohohoho

    @Writerzblock - You're right. Absolutely. Thanks for being here.

    @Sanchit - Thanks man. I am happy you liked it. Nah I dont use IE... but now i do ctrl+c... haha.. once bitten...

    @Pramathesh - There is enough space my friend. yeh to blog hi aapka hai...haha...thanks buddy.

    All - The post won the category... and am very happy!

    And now that the post has won the round, I want to take this opportunity to thank Jaimala... she helped me with the edits... and some bit with the idea. Thanks Jamu. For those who want to know who this Jaimala is - On the top bar, find 'Motivation' under 'More'.

    !!!

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