Friday, April 16, 2010

I'm Embarassed

Like in the previous post, I still don't have a new story to tell. There are three ideas in the making, and one of them should be out very soon. It almost feels like I am talking about the release of my next film. Anyways...

So, for this time, I am going to continue with the 'personal' label. I feel like talking about some of my most embarassing moments. Although there is a huge list... I am interested in talking about four. Why's that? Because you don't have time to read many.

1. This happened a year ago. Let me give you a brief first. I am a flexible person... with multiple personalities... and friends at completely different ends of the society.

I could speak hi-fi stuff with a sophisticated person... and replicate the ease in my conversations with Gujjar boys.

So... one day, one of my friends, a Gujjar boy, almost at the stroke of a new relationship (girlfriend), asked me to send some romantic hindi one liners to him on SMS.

I wrote some cheap off-the-shelf stuff and sent the message... but not to him... but to my client. HUGE MISTAKE!

The client was a female... and my message read stuff like:

"Mai pagal ho gaya hoon tumhare liye... aur tum ab tak deewani bhi na ho paai?"
"Tumhari aankhen mei khud ko mai sundar dikhta hoon... vaise badsurat"

Grrr... I am getting embarassed even while writing this. haha. I wonder what she thought of me... coz the messages didn't even look like ones I'd send my gf.

2. This is again a year ago. I was quitting my ex organization and during the farewell speech, I said some stuff that could only be misconstrued.

At a particular point, what I intended to say something like "... it does not attract me to... blah blah blah..."

The exact terms I ended up using were "... it does not arouse my thing to..."

Yuck yuck.

3. This incident is purely out of laziness. I was in class 6th or 7th. The recess usually got followed by Games period on one of the fortunate days. We had a separate uniform for games (PT), which we used to change into during recess.

I remember the class was empty... people had left for games. I was yet to change... and in total insanity... I took off my shorts right there in the classroom. I mean I was quite confident about maintaining privacy. But, as you can guess, it was not to be.

Right at the moment I dropped my shorts, two girls entered! Holy shit. I sat on my chair—put my bag on my lap—and let the shorts remain on ground—all in a second. Shit! Shit ! Shit!

The girls knew what was happening... but walked off soon... thank you R and S!

4. We (family) were going somewhere... and putting stuff in the car - a precursor to usual Punjabi family outings.

In a moment of I dont know what... Instead of saying "Isko gaadi ki dikky mei rakh do"... I said "Isko gaadi ki dick mei rakh do".

Dad was the at the other end of the conversation.

17 comments:

  1. dammm osssum, i am not the only one who had not so good and not so miserable experiences....jabri, totally jabri.
    The pant incident, happened with me, but teacher walked into the room to my misfortune.

    I pity your dad, he must have got the laugh of his life....:P

    oooh and that arouse speech gave me an idea... i wanted 2 make some mistake in my farewell speech deliberately...this ones marvelous...will use it...;)

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  2. Oh I love people's embarrassing stories (there's solace in knowing that I am not alone) ...

    please please post a sequel for this post with more stories :)

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  3. "Main pagal ho gaya hu tumhare liye, aur tum ab tak deewani bhi na ho paai?"

    Ha ha ha!This was epic. Seriously, i don't know aisi lines kaha se milti hai janab ko!

    There was a request, if you have time, do that muhavara and idioms type of post once again like you have done earlier.
    .
    .
    .
    shilpa

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  4. frankly I expected much better than u..........out of all these I only find the first one embarrassing enough....seems like ur life went on smooth....

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  5. ROTFL! Good ones. :-))

    I remember a systems administration guy (not in that organisation where we worked) whose English was really bad. One day, the server wouldn't start and his explanation was: "Hard dicks crash ho gaya."

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  6. very brave of you to put such situations on the record...

    I liked the sms one...
    others were ok-ok type

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  7. All are indeed embarrassing..but the first two are...i can imagine what you must have gone thru..

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  8. @ Siddhesh - you seem to be all inspired man. Not a good source of inspiration, must confess. You know - all of us have super embarassing moments... life would be dull if not for the happenings.

    @g2 - hey, noone's alone.. and you know that. Cant put sequel immediately. I have lined up a stupid weird back-to-myself story. But thanks for making the sequel feel wanted.

    @ Shilpa - Hello ji. Maine aapko bataya tha yeh sab lines to usual thought process hai. I am not even trying abhi toh. Yaar woh idioms wala toh nahi bana paunga.. but ek post hai... jisme logo ko kuch guess karna hai... woh daalunga... idiom wale mei bahut mehnat lagti hai yaar :)

    @ Addy - Aap toh Sirjee ho. Kaho na pyaar hai wale nahi, IDEA wale. Haha. You share some stuff dude... I am sure hum sunkar hi embarass ho jayenge.

    @Dusted - Yeah :).. Yeh Hard Dicks wala problem kaafi prevalent hai. It actually comes from the mother tongue influence... like, a lot of people, instead of saying film... would say filam. haha.

    @ Saurabh - I thank god you at least liked one :) There is no particular reason for the choice of moments I chose for this post... there are 100 others... may be far more embarassing... but that's that.

    @ Jaimala - Knowing me, you could very well imagine what I went through. A laugh is all I could manage.

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  9. yeah... anything for frandship.

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. MM - why'd you remove dude? Your experience sounded more like 'guilt' and less of embarrassment :)

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  12. Yeah, that's why I removed it... I just kept typing and then came back and happened to re-read it, and realized that it was less to do with embarrassment per se in the first place, and it also read like a post rather than a comment, and that really got me embarrassed this time :) so I deleted it.... but I'm still embarrassed that I could not delete it before you read it... :)

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  13. Lallu Singh.. I never read it here. I get automated emails for all comments on the blog :)

    It is okay even if your comment was like a post... you can type anything as long as you arent spamming.

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