A Typical Unique Person

My name is Chumbhi Kumdaar, and I live in Delhi. I am unique. I say this because of what I feel and do in Delhi traffic.

Delhi traffic makes me sick. It disgusts me even when I am not in it. I don't want to go anywhere now!

What if there is traffic on the way?

I have become abusive... people don't drive properly... they have no road sense... in fact, they have no sense at all. I hate them.

Here's how I tackle 'em when something goes wrong (read: when they are at fault... I am never wrong you see):

1. Pedestrians - I stare them like I'm the king and they are my slaves. At times, I steer the car toward them. Truly, I dont care if I frighten them. They dont have any right to be on the road. They are just meant to be scared. Damn, now I remember, they don't even pay road taxes.

2. Cyclists - I have a standard one-liner for them, "Saale andhe... yahi marna hai tujhe?" What good is a cyclist's life? Bloody hundreds of them do a tour-de-France from Khanpur to Okhla and keep increasing the level of frustration they cause every day.

3. Motorcyclist

• (weaker than me) - "Dhang se chala le" - with full confidence and self-strength belief. These skinny motorcyclists are just too easy to handle. They roam around without helmet, licence, RC, Pollution... and without any respect for red lights. They don't deserve any respect.
• (stronger than me... like huge build and broad shoulders) - I just stare. I know it's usual for glitches to happen in heavy traffic. I am a nice person and I don't enjoy staring or figthing others.

4. Carwalla

• (weaker than me) - "Abbey o" should do the trick. If the person did not hear me, I could manoeuvre my car in his way... at certain angles... that tell him I am upset with his misdemeanor.
• (stronger than me) - A polite stare is what I manage. I wish I could do more.... but, you see, the world needs peace.
• (more than two men) - I don't even look at them. They didn't do anything wrong. They are good people.

5. Ladies + any vehicle - "Kyon chalati hai gaadi yeh auratein", is what I think... the typical male that I am. Why are they driving, will someone tell me?

6. Kids - I ask, "Kis bevakoof ne inn ko sadak pe faink diya hai". Ahhh! I don't want anything to do with an accident involving kids who could see but acted blind while checking out the tyres of a car (when they were moving of course).

So, that's my thought process... and that's why I am unique!