Monday, December 28, 2009

My First Invention: The F-Cutter

Welcome back!

I always wanted to invent something. The idea was to give something back to life. Something weird... but still useful...

I do have something now. Let me assure you this is the first of my 'n' number of inventions I have planned to detonate. I have the blueprint ready. I will now explain my first invention, the 'F-Cutter'.

Take a look at the image. This is the F-Cutter... a mini stadium/chamber kind of a structure... call it what you like. The F-Cutter is a fat-cutting mechanism. This is how it works:

A person (fatso in the image) enters the F-Cutter. Next moment, the killer spikes start moving toward the fatso.

The fatso, in order to protect himself/herself from the spikes, has to start running. The path, as seen here, is circular. This means that the fatso HAS TO keep running untill the spikes stop. Now, one must note that these are real deadly spikes... so you can't possibly fool around with them. The only option is to run.

Everyday, a person could use the F-Cutter for jogging/running... by simply entering the time duration (along with the desired speed for the spikes) in the Digital Data Feeder... all, at the risk of life of course...

This invention is ONLY for those who CAN exercise but DONT, just out of laze.

There are some other items in the image that I should tell you about. Just in case a person is killed... there are blood drainage facilities at all sections of the chamber. Moreover, body disposal facilities are also available (for people of all religion).

Last, I have some free space... this will be used for advertising purposes once I get some sponsors. I hope my invention (or its variant) gets translated to reality so that people can benefit from it.

(Note: Being crazy is cool... being fat is not!)

11 comments:

  1. I don't want to try this "invention".. as i know i won't comeback alive from there. :P

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  2. truly crazy. Btw, how do you propose to lure lazy ppl to this F-cutter?

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  3. hope i don't have to use that invention..... EVER

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  4. This has tremendous commercial potential. The killer spikes can be replaced by Rakhi Sawant and we can turn this into a Reality Show...

    I hope you have not patented this invention...

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  5. LOL! The illustration is so neat that people can actually make a real F-cutter without much hassles.... bhot shaandaar!

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  6. @ Shilpa - I would want to go there... I know this is the only thing that can work for me now. This is the perfect invention for people like me... too much love for life and too lazy to workout.

    @ Ini - Family members will have to pitch in at some stage yaar... I will sell the idea to family members.

    @ Naveen - Not if you dont fit the criteria my friend.

    @ Sud - Rakhi... arr... well... as long as she can continue running for the desired duration... Patent... what Patent? I am a patient of obesity...that's all I know about this...

    @ MM - It's the blueprint my friend... chura lo chura lo...lol... :)

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  7. ha ha .. waise an alternate name for this invention could be Digital Atyachar
    Whats the area near the body disposal for? .. cremation?

    nice post :)

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  8. @ Vinay - Yah man... Digital Atyachar sounds better... I would have modified had it affected only the header... dont want to make changes in the middle now :)

    That body disposal area is split into two - cremation + burial... I was just being secularly advanced...lol

    Thanks.

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  9. hehe... that's very kind... samjho ki chura liya... :) it's going to sell like hot cakes...

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  10. The longest and hardest journey would be from the bed to the F-cutter. That is torture in itself, find a way to take care of that first, then we will think about your ingenious invention.Btw, I am thinking of donating my eyes, kidney etc. after my death. This will probably make chutney out of it all!! You need to work on the body disposal facility.

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  11. I like wat u r thinking of doing...donating organs:)

    Journey to the F-Cutter... hmmm...how about living in the f cutter?

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