Sunday, September 2, 2012

Strangers in the Night

We both were happy, and the time was right,
So we decided to marry, we were confident quite,
Our parents met, and they gelled alright,
They fixed the date and sealed our plight,


The month was Feb, and the sky was bright,
The arrangements were nice, a pretty sight,
She looked amazing, a walking dynamite,
And I was nervous, looking back in hindsight,


I brought her home, and we started just right,
But soon… things became bad, and tantrums became trite,
Words turned bitter, and little quarrels began to bite,
Looking back at the things now, I turn contrite,


We were falling apart; no longer did we remain tight,
Everything was misunderstood, prejudiced without insight,
The rudeness to each other grew to a great height,
It looked like the marriage was getting into a twilight,


Four years later…


Four years have passed, for each other we still hold spite,
But we’ve a child now, so we can’t afford things uptight,
So, for him, we pretend like a couple in broad daylight,
But when we sleep, we are two strangers in the night.

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This post had been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 31; the thirty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. The theme for the month was 'Strangers in the Night'. The post fetched me just 2 votes (poor performance) :) 
To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

40 comments:

  1. Nice one :) I loved the way you have rhymed everything.

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  2. Nicely rhymed...but " a waking dynamite' had me in splits..LOL..
    Good job!!

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  3. This is second time I came to your site, great calibre in placement of words. Great take.

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  4. amazing poetry and such a contemporary take on todays marriage scenario.. a lovely read :)

    all the best for BAT :)

    if you have time do visit
    Strangers in the night

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  5. Somehow the phrase strangers in the night fits perfectly in this post compared to all that I've read. It's simple and..well just fits! :)

    All the best :)

    ❤Not Just My Allegories❤

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  6. Interesting and so true in most cases. Really well expressed. I expected something zany though.

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  7. modernity has taken a toll on everyone's life now-a-days and we have started to forget the basic elements of marriage. Agree with TF here!

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  8. I like the tight rhyming with no wiggle room and agree with the sentiment. This is often how marriages turn out in these times. All the best!

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  9. Nice rhymes! quite true in many marraiges today unfortunately!

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  10. Nice poetry. I love the way you converted a real life happenings in poetry was awesome...

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  11. nicely knitted rhyming words and the concept, so true now-a-days...

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  12. I read your poetry in glee
    cause everything rhymes down to a T :)

    ATB for BAT...

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  13. Crisp! Nice rhyming. 'Dynamite' was a LOL though :P

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  14. Awesome take on the topic! Loved it!
    And thanks for visiting my blog... :)

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  15. That's an inspiring rhyme but sadly true, that's how most of the couples are living today! keep writing! Good Luck!

    Someone is Special

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    Replies
    1. It's not just Sachin, not just writing, not just experiment, even we connect with thoughts. I'm sure!

      It was a Monday late night when I thought of penning this story. The moment I started creating this story, I was visualizing a lot, like an image of girl walking, bus stop, but I'm not an expert in mixing video and image, that's the reason, in the initial part I did not play much with it. Even I had a girl cry, heartbeat, and many more sounds in my mind, but my bad, I'm unable to get all the sounds I wished and imagined. If I would've done that, I'm sure it would've been a masterpiece.. Thanks for your constructive feedback!

      The file size is around 800 MB, which took almost 3 hours to upload :P, Audacity to mix the audio bits, (guitar, humming, walking sound, heartbeat, feeble fire sound, haunted sound, etc), Photoshop to create diary and newspaper cuts, and Windows Movie Maker to complete the art... Thanks again!

      When you leave a comment like that I could not resist myself from jumping to your blog and typing a big reply because I feel the best gift to a creator is thy constructive comments :)

      Keep smiling.. Thanks for making my day!

      Someone is Special

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. Mmm! Does not look quite like you turned contrite, does it, if you are still full of spite?

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  18. I loved the rhyme.. and theme is quite relevant..ATB for BAT

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  19. @ LP - Hey. Long time :) Hope you are doing well. Glad you liked the poem. It's been so long... since our Wordsworth :O)

    @ Panchali - Walking dynamite.. aha. Thanks.

    @ Maun Vision - Thanks buddy. I liked your TT story a lot.

    @ Richa - Thanks. Am yet to ready yours... got a huge list of unread ones. Looking forward to it.

    @ Anisha - 'Simple and fitting', good compliments from you.

    @ TF - Zany?? Yes. I too expect only foolish humor type of stuff from myself. Ha :) Next BAT for sure. Thanks buddy. Yet to read yours.

    @ Diwakar - I agree too. Marriages are hurting... and the hurt's been increasing. I sometimes feel it was better off in past... but of course would like equality between men and women.

    @ Sandy - Tight rhyming... ha, that's a new one :) Agree with you buddy.

    @ Deepa - Thanks for commenting Deepa.

    @ A gal - Thanks.. Your name's interesting.

    @ Amit - thanks for the comment. Looks like we all are on the same page.

    @ Prasanna - And I love you comment much, lovable your comment is such. Haha :) Thanks.

    @ Rajkiran - Glad you liked it.

    @ Apala - thanks. I wonder what Apala means.

    @ Rinaya - Thanks Rinaya. I remember - long, long time ago. One of my first few BATs... I had loved your post. You had music in your blog. When I revisited this time, your blog's completely changed.

    @ SIS - I agree. And thanks again for hosting the BAT.

    @ Kappu - Few lines... am happy I could restrict the word count. Usually, I go overboard. Thanks.

    @ Creative - I wonder why you deleted the comment. But thanks for visiting.

    @ C.Suresh - ha! Good catch. I was sort of looking forward to your comment. What you are essentially saying is that 'feeling a need to see the other person suffer' and 'feeling remorseful' can't coexist. That's interesting. I think it may well be true. Gotto think more. Thanks for coming defending champ.

    @ Tomz - Thanks Tomz. Am yet to read your strangers in a train tale :) See you soon.

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  20. nicely portrayed...so many couples these days are hung together for just the child...pity :(
    ATB for BAT :)
    i could not participate...but u can see my post here
    Karan - Strangers in the Night

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  21. Its a first that I came to your site
    and am awed by your insight
    I know am going to come back for sure
    You have got me enchanted by the way you write ;)


    Beautifully done buddy

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  22. I like the flow in your verses! :)

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  23. Aww, loved the rhyming and the flow of words building up a story. Now this kind of poetry is what I understand :) The scenario is so apt for a lot of couples today who unfortunately stick together in loveless marriages for the sake of child. Some may argue that kids hold the family together, but well, depends on the family I guess. There are all kinds of people I guess. Best wishes for BAT!

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  24. OMG!! what a lovely poetry..such beautifully rhymed verses ...smooth flow and touching a very common but hot issue of marriage institution...ATB for BAT...


    A warm and a heartfelt thanks for visiting my space and spilling such positive beans through your comments...and moreover I appreciate your way of wrapping critic sense in the words of praise.It would really help me to write better..You need not be sorry for anything rather I should be as of my writing lacks somewhere because my readers are not able to get it....many thanks once again ..I shall try to improve ..( Oh God I have written so much and messed your space ) will explain the last stanza on my blog..

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  25. Hello Kshitij

    The rhyming was very very good. It seems to be a very apt take on the topic and absolutely loved the last few lines.

    And yes, as others mentioned the 'walking dynamite' part too :)

    Btw thanks a lot for leaving all those words of encouragement on my post :)

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  26. Beautiful poem and apt take on the post. Lovely rhythm. Nice work :-)

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  27. I absolutely loved the rhyme you know :):)
    the flow is the best part of the poem and also the theme. Its a pity that people who promise to live the whole life together often turn strangers just in the middle of the journey!

    best wishes buddy !!!
    your charm has made me read more of your posts:)
    following you !!:D

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  28. A poetic rendition for a rather sad tale...

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  29. Brilliant! You managed to stick to the rhyme without letting the narrative suffer. Good job

    Cheers
    CRD

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  30. @ Karan - Sad that you missed it. Especially because your post was good. Nevertheless, I appreciate the hardwork you did by reading all entries. I would have stopped bothering in your situation :)

    @ Dreamer - Your poetic comment is such a Wow, I take a bow take a bow take a bow. :) Thanks.

    @ Simran - hey thanks Simran. Very thanks.

    @ Deepa - Very good comment about children holding the family together. I think they do, but often not in the way people look at it. And yes - this is the only kind of poetry I also understand. For me, I just rhyme and rhyme and rhyme to make a poem. haha :) In fact, for me, what does not rhyme is not a poem. Stupid me.

    @ Odyzz - Thanks v much. Few good words from you make me happy. Especially because I loved your poem a lot. And I responded to your modest comment in your blog. Please be yourself! Your work is art.

    @ Jaish - Yours was one of my fav this BAT. Good words from your are very much appreciated. I did not think the walking dynamite will have this effect. :) Your deserve all the good words for your post.

    @ Ash - Thanks. Glad you found it apt.

    @ Ashezz - Absolutely. Such a lovely comment. Following me... woah! That happens to me once in 3 months. So, you must now understand how important you are to me. You've made me meet my 3-months target :) It was great chatting with you about our mutual dumbness.

    @ Manasa - For the first time someone is talking about the child. In fact, I did not think of the child myself. Thanks for giving this new perspective.

    @ Richi - Ahem. Ok. If you say so :)

    @ CRD - Thanks very much buddy. Yes - I agree that people (including myself) at times tend to go away from the theme just to keep the rhyme. Glad that you think this one did not go that way (though - must confess I think it did once of twice).

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  31. @ Amit - your post was worth it buddy. It's sad that people did not look at the way the post was written. Good luck for the next BAT.

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  32. humm..IMO child is the only reason for which these two strangers are bound to live together..otherwise..in today's time Husband and wife have only one thought in common and that is "Marriage was a mistake"!

    I Hope this was just a poem and not the excerpts from your real life.

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  33. I’ve learn a few just right stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you set to make any such excellent informative website.

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  34. @ Ashok - I agree with your points. It's a little sad to live like this. We tend to compromise so much.

    And my story?? Hell, No. Haha. I don't even have kids.

    @ Web - This is not an informative Website and you are a spammer.

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    ReplyDelete

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All the pictures and contents on Dusht-ka-Drishtikone are protected by Copyright Law and should not be reproduced, published or displayed without the explicit prior written permission from the sole author of the blog, Kshitij Khurana.